May 12, 2011
Angus and Julia Stone - Mango Tree
I've been feeling lately like I'm not doing a good job of this "grown-up" thing. On paper, I am basically failing: consumer debt keeps growing, making just above minimum wage, still no assets, no relationship, no children, no clear career path, only an undergrad, etc., etc. Of course, there are many my age even further behind, and many younger further ahead...
The truth of the matter is that it's less about being a "grown-up" on paper and more about just being comfortable with the choices you make everyday. At times, I feel like I'm going in circles rather than actually getting anywhere. However, as a cyclist, I know that the wheels have to turn just as much when coasting on a level path as they do when one is climbing up a mountain. It's when we're on the mountain that we feel least productive, but the view from the top is always worth it.
This song is a mark of remembering who I am. I lost myself in the work I want to be doing for my career today. It's something I find myself circling aorund again and again as I climb the mountain of my life. In my zen place, there was no music blaring from the radio, no podcast trying to educate me on some social aspect of our world...and I just focused.
This is what this song means to me: focus.